Dorothy
A pair of ruby Nikes
A new galvanized bucket filled with gin
A (short) leash/choke collar for Toto
A GPS (No more “recalculating for me!)
Toto
A (short) leash/choke collar for Dorothy
A dreidel chew toy. (Bet you didn’t know I was Jewish!)
Scarecrow
To be re-stuffed with hypo-allergenic, hay made from recyclable material
No brain, please. (Brains are highly over-rated and appear to have no value.)
Tin Man
A case of 10W/40 synthetic oil
A light-weight ax
No heart, please. (Why risk having it broken by some a** h***)
Lion
A high-priced spa package
A de-lousing treatment
No courage, please. (I plan on running for public office and courage will get in the way)
The Wizard
Some pepper spray to ward off annoying dogs
Anything that’s not green for God’s sake
The Wicked Witch
A high-tech, waterproof rain coat
A Dyson vacuum to replace that out-of-date broom
Glinda
Voice lessons
A new dress…I’m tired of being mistaken for Lady GaGa. I’m Lady GlinGlin!)
Uncle Henry
A subscription to Playboy
A divorce from Em
Aunt Em
A subscription to Playgirl
A divorce from that dolt, Henry
